“Sisters, we, your brethren, cannot do what you were divinely designated to do from before the foundation of the world. We may try, but we cannot ever hope to replicate your unique gifts. There is nothing in this world as personal, as nurturing, or as life changing as the influence of a righteous woman.” (M. Russell Ballard, “Mothers and Daughters,” Liahona, May 2010, 18–21)
To my mind this morning was brought, like settling dews on the morning grass, the extreme and simple beauty that women have brought into my life over the years. I have been more richly blessed by “the most precious element of a woman’s divine nature—the nature to nurture” (Ballard) than I think I can even realize.
I have been honored to date over time a handful of girls who have exemplified the love of the savior in their hearts and actions. They have opened an otherwise closed boy and have helped to bring about change in his heart, helping him correct his course and remain faithful.
Friends (girls) of whom I can only describe our meetings and relationships as divinely appointed, have nurtured me, instinctively, in my times of need, giving me courage and belief to get back up, dust off and to try again with love for myself. It’s these moments that have filled my soul with possibility and vision of who I really am. It’s these small interactions that have made me greater than I could have ever been without it.
Guidance from many Spirit-led women has richly blessed my life. From speakers, to church leaders, to my grandmothers & most importantly my own mother, I have been lifted time and time again on the wings of angels who had no other desire than to help me believe that the seemingly impossible I face is but only a small step in a much grander masterpiece that God making in me.
Even the men who have blessed my life with similar love, encouragement & teaching have done so with a confidence born of familiarity with such “motherly” love, instilled so often by their own mothers, wives, girlfriends & women acquaintances.
It’s been a slow process by which I’m realizing over again the true beauty and power of women. It’s a journey that I am glad to be on, for I have seen over the years the faith of some of my sweetest and most dear friends’ shattered largely due to the poor examples of priesthood holders to which they were married. It’s a man’s responsibility to rule over his wife. But as Elder Hafen taught, “Genesis 3:16 states that Adam is to “rule over” Eve, but this doesn’t make Adam a dictator. A ruler can be a measuring tool that sets standards. Then Adam would live so that others may measure the rightness of their conduct by watching his. Being a ruler is not so much a privilege of power as an obligation to practice what a man preaches. Also, over in “rule over” uses the Hebrew bet, which means ruling with, not ruling over. If a man does exercise “dominion … in any degree of unrighteousness” (D&C 121:37; emphasis added), God terminates that man’s authority.” (Bruce C. Hafen and Marie K. Hafen, “Crossing Thresholds and Becoming Equal Partners,” Liahona, Aug 2007, 26–31)
The goal for the man is to rule in the true meaning of the word, modeling himself after Christ. Christ rules the church with love & diligence in providing for and in protecting & preserving it’s sanctity. A husband is to do the same for his wife. I love the picture painted in the story where Christ is compared to a mother hen who protects her young, covering them when danger is near, even to the point of losing her own life. THIS is the relationship a priesthood holder has with his wife when he understands his sacred duty and her divine nature.
In short, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” (Eph 5:25)
Living in mediocrity has been like living in a darkness. It’s here where I’ve seen myself as worthless, which has done more damage than I could have ever realized. For the way we see & love ourselves, at least in my experience, cannot be contained and kept from tainting how we see & love others. The good women in my life who have lifted me and built me and succored me like the Savior would if he were here deserve a Ryan that sees both them as everything they truly are, beautiful, powerful, creative, loving, divine, holy beings. And to do this I must take my visions from the fountains of eternal life, and not from the gutters of disbelief that line the roads of this mortal coil.
Thank you dear women. I cannot say enough about the good that you are and that you bring into my life. May the Lord bless you to see yourself as he sees you, for THIS is the solution to so many of your problems from low self-esteem, to depressive flurries and fear to bitterness & hate towards my gender. I know that men are rats, but the answer is not to feed them with the scraps of distrust which only perpetuate that lowly state, but to reach into the divinity that’s within each one of you and to lift him and to love him as you have me.
I love you. I need you.
Ryan
