Category Archives: Change

Change, Gratitude, State of the Art

Done With Disney

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Goodbye Disney. I'm blasting off!Almost six months ago now I packed up my guitar, my $20 mini TV, a handful of clothes and my favorite books and movies into my hubcapless silver Toyota Corolla and headed out west. It wasn’t my first adventure into the unknown, but it was perhaps one of the biggest of such life events. I was moving away from my the state I grew up in, not to mention my family and friends.

However, while I was leaving so much good behind I also felt like it was a great opportunity for me to leave behind some negatives as well.  The first on that list of things that I just didn’t have room for in my small car were my fears. I have always tried to keep a positive attitude and move forward with things I believe in, but as is true for most of us, I have found nagging little voices at times telling me that I couldn’t succeed, that I wasn’t good enough, that I would let people down.

So, why the move? I came to California to work for The Mouse, commonly known as Disney. It’s a slight variation on working for The Man. I was excited to experience new things, new challenges and dive back into corporate world for the first time in 6 years. At the same time, I recalled some of the things that I didn’t like about the 9-5 and was a bit apprehensive. That said, I was dedicated to seeing out my 6 month contract doing SEO for Walt Disney Parks & Resorts and some Disney owned ABC local television stations. “Heck, and even if it’s just the 6 months,” I thought to myself, “it’ll be one great ride.”

So fast forward 6 months. I’m now just 3 weeks away from my contract due date and begin to inquire about renewing my contract. I share my interest in continuing on and point out that I’ve gotten to know much better how all the disjointed pieces work together and how to respond to the conflicting priorities and last minute requests. Ideally I would have known already if I was going to stay, but I didn’t and I wanted to know if I would need to look for another job or if I could fly again on some other projects that I’ve been forestalling because I had an itching to let someone else call the shots for a bit. So, finally on last Wednesday, a routine 1 on 1 with my manager turned into the  certainty I was looking for:

“We are not going to renew your contract.”

The gist of the decision was based on the fact that my skill set is based in in-depth analyzing, strategy and big picture stuff. The position that mirrored my first internet marketing job 8 years ago was one that needed a worker bee and not a dreamer bee. I’m sure there are places in Disney for dreamers, but as it turns out, it’s may not be in the role for which I was hired.

Honestly, I was a little surprised based on the progress I was making. I was planning on staying another 6 months at least, but as we talked I realized that there were some things missing that I feel are pretty important to me. However, accompanying my surprise was a sense of  giddy little excitement. I am thoroughly excited to use my time at Disney as a stepping stone to reach higher for my goals and it looks like I’ll have some time really soon to do so.

So, there ya have it. I’m done with Disney. And here comes my future!

Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new door and doing things because we're curious.... and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. Walt Disney

Speaking of my future. Here are some things that are likely to be in it. About 2 weeks after moving here I met and shortly thereafter started to date a gorgeous, fun and awesome yoga teacher. We’ve been to some great places including Kings Canyon & Sequoya National Forests. We’ve danced, done yoga, gotten lost running, watched humming birds, gotten sand in our toes at the beach, biked along the coast and so much more. I’m truly grateful for her and all the growth we’ve experienced together.

While here, I’ve also had the fun opportunity to talk with some great people about their projects: Nikki Forova’s new album & Adam Sidwell’s new best-selling children’s book, Evertaster.

Lastly, I’ve also been working on my book, Eyes to See: How Gratitude Can Transform Your Life Today and posting to The Gratitude Wall on Facebook. It’s been really good to have a practice of gratitude in my life. It has really enriched it and taken me further than I would have gone otherwise. Who knows, I may just take a trip up the California coast, stay in campgrounds and write. We’ll see. 🙂

 

Change, Friends, Reports, State of the Art

First Week In Los Angeles

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Disney Parks and Resorts LogoToday I start my first full week of working with Disney as an SEO Analyst. I drove out last Tuesday and started my first day on Wednesday, the 29th of February (that magical day that comes but once every 4 years). I have been grateful for the opportunity to move to the Los Angeles area and connect with some great people. I have much appreciated the friends that have introduced me to those in the area.

My first few days at work was mainly getting my bearings (still getting them), setting up my computer and going to meetings. I did get two tasks and felt illy prepared for both of them. They were simple tasks, so I’m not totally sure why I started to get nervous. I think it just boiled down to not having a set process, not understanding fully what the bigger picture on the project was and just lots of new information. I was even going to do some work on Saturday. But my manager refused to let me do that my first week here.

I have to admit, I was a bit torn. I had very high hopes of rocking the Disney world from day 1. So, I wanted to make sure to show that that I could do what I was assigned, ya know, put the best foot forward and all that. I slowed down and realized that the world’s not going to end and I am still going to rock Disney, so no need to stress out.

So, I went to meet Scott & Lisa, a young LDS couple that a friend referred me to that were house sitting his parents Glendale house while they are on a mission in San Diego. They have an upstairs room that they let me rent out until I find a solid place to live. They’ve been very gracious and the price is very reasonable, especially for my own room and bathroom in a house.

Santa Monica - Venice Beach - VolleyballSo, to begin my awesome weekend in “SoCal,” I went down to Venice beach in Santa Monica on Saturday morning and played some sand volleyball. I was just about to pass it up because I’ve had this “I don’t wanna get lost in L.A.” fear, but surprisingly getting around isn’t as bad as my mind made it out to be. Sure the roads all have names and I can’t just take an address and find it like in Utah, but I’ve taken a couple wrong turns already and simply turn around and find where I’m going. It’s kinda cool. PLUS, to keep me company in the car I have Harry Potter 4 playing…since I didn’t finish it on the 10 HOUR DRIVE DOWN…Long book!

The beach was great and afterwards we all went to get a bite to eat at Whole Foods on Rose…yup, one of the ones where Whole Foods Parking Lot was filmed. I couldn’t help but loudly declare upon arriving that “this was the place” to fellow parking lot attendees. I even made sure to tell a hybrid driver to not take my spot :). After my $23 salad I had to chuckle because I now knew what it was like to “pay my 80 bucks for six things and I’m out!” All in all, I had a great time getting real in the Whole Foods parking lot. It was also fun to make Sandra laugh.

On Sunday I went the Glendale 9th Branch, met some cool new people and some of the ones that I’d communicated with before going. I guess there are also a handful of LDS people in the area that work for Disney. That’s cool.

After church I drove around the neighborhoods above Glenoaks and was completely amazed at just how beautiful all the homes were. The weather is great now and I’m lovin’ it!

I’ve felt very supported, both by the friends and family I left and by friends who told me I’d love the area. It was great to have a job working for The Wellness Warrior for the first two months of this year, it gave me some confidence and direction along with some extra cash. I also totally enjoyed staying with my sis and her family. I think I watched Wall-E about 8 times and drank about 20 carrots with the new juicer they got.

It’s been good to be out here so far and I’m looking forward to some amazingly great things!

Attention & Focus, Change, Gratitude, Self Creation

Unspinning with Gratitude

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I can’t explain how grateful I am for gratitude. After spinning around in my head for a couple hours, I decided to “unspin” by listing some things I am grateful for. So, here are ten to help me surrender the spin to God…I’m sure there’ll be more to come as I often find myself in that spin:

  1. My Mother: I don’t remember a week that I didn’t get a letter for her on my mission and now I don’t recall a week she hasn’t texted me to tell me she loves me and prays for me.
  2. The Roof Overhead: Despite my indignant circumstances I am coming to appreciate the simple things like a place to live and the good faith of my roommate to trust I will rise again and be on my feet.
  3. Food: Sometimes I think, there’s nothing to eat, but even though this childhood saying pops back up every now and then I always have had food to eat. I’ve got very creative with my Ramen. 🙂
  4. The Word of God: Feasting wouldn’t be complete without food for the soul. I am learning to be humble and fight my tendency to do other things instead of reading. When I do this I find that God is near.
  5. Music: In moments where no other external stimuli can reach me, music often sooths the savage Ryan. It can pick me up and amplify my good mood. It can rearrange my priorities and give me clarity again.
  6. The Faith of Friends: There’s a saying that’s so true and it goes something like this, when we reach for the best within us, we give others silent permission to do the same. I have been lifted by the faith of others.
  7. My Body: Though I don’t always understand the way that I feel, I can’t help but love the learning process and how a quiet ear can bear great insight into what ails us at any given moment.
  8. Prayer: I can’t explain just how much strength I get from submitting to God in daily prayer.
  9. My Ability to Think: While overthinking is never too good, I am grateful for the gift of reason. Combined with prayer there is no challenge I cannot conquer.
  10. Repentance: The word I understand simply means to turn to. To me this means turning to seeing things honestly as they are and letting go of things I cannot control. God is good 
Change, Holy Ghost, Relationships, Walk The Talk

Watching Grass Grow

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This started as a comment I posted on the imported Facebook Note of my blog post Simplifying Stuff that I felt deserved it’s own showing on the floor room of my blog.

So, during this last conference I had an interesting experience. I hadn’t felt solid strength in conference for some time, ESP not like in the pre-mission college institute days. But for some reason I decided to prepare for this conference by reviewing the last one. I put out the challenge to the Walk the Talk group and got some takers. So, each day for the last 3 weeks or so I spent reading a conference talk or two, quietly each morning in my back yard with my bare feet finding solace intertwined with the long blades of grass.

It happened slowly, almost like watching my plants grow back there. But compounded over time, it WAS noticeable…I was starting to “feel” again. I was spending time in prayer asking that my eyes would see what I wasn’t seeing on my own. I was indeed seeking for answers. Answers that I needed to help me find peace that I kept grasping for, but seemed to disappear just as smoke would when trying to hold it.

It was in this simple morning ritual that I started again to feel impressions or guidances, simple, but sure direction for myself. Some things I felt impressed to do were to remove all my books from my room, reduce the time I spent working so I could have more balance and connect with friends in meaningful and guided ways.

This little effort created in me a thirst and excitement to participate in conference this time around, similar to how I used to be. And during conference I had moment after moment where I would hear a phrase resonate clearly with something I had already been moved upon to think about, write or do during my backyard study. It felt clearly like a validation from heaven. In those many moments during conference I knew that I was being led. And not all things that I felt to do during my backyard sessions were explicitly written in the words I was studying.

Such an amazing place to be, a fragile one, one that must be protected if it’s important to me. But in the end all the thanks and praise must go to the God that gave us all life and who didn’t leave us without direction here on earth. “When our sacred doctrine & beliefs are challenged,” said Bishop Edgely, as mine has been recently, “this is our opportunity to become acquainted with God in a most private and intimate manner.” ((http://new.lds.org/general-conference/sessions?lang=eng&bcpid=610705729001&bctid=623525042001))

Similarly, Brad Wilcox says on a talk tape, “We don’t have to seek out others who are struggling so we feel justified. And we certainly don’t have to hate those that don’t struggle so that we can feel better. And we don’t have to surrender to addictions and hate ourselves, as easy as that is to do. Instead, we simply have to let faith be an anchor to our souls.”

I’m not sure why those quotes came to mind, I guess it’s just that it is so easy to give in to the voices that say what we’ve known to be true isn’t. And while it is so hard to see sometimes, the help we seek is always right there, waiting for us to seek. I KNOW all it takes is a little alone time with God to reestablish again the foundations of our faith and that our faith is what anchors & grounds us. That idea I really tried to express in basic terms in my post The Essence of Prayer.

Thanks to all my friends who give my life meaning. Thanks to family who has given me much joy and opportunity to grow. And thanks to God for his patience with my wandering and for always being there to embrace me when I return to him.

Change, Faith, Holy Ghost, Self Discovery, State of the Art

Simplifying Stuff

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“Simplify,” comes the voice. “Is it that simple?” I ask. Indeed it is.

I am learning that “Stuff” doesn’t make one happy. Happiness comes from within, from connecting to God. Once that connection is made, all the hording, materialism, jealousy, hatred, bitterness, etc just have a tendency to slip away. It really makes me wonder when Jesus asked a rich young man to go sell all that he had and follow him, WHY this man who apparently had been living the commandments was kept from heaven on earth and possibly in the hereafter because of the “stuff”, the earthly security that he clung to.

Do I cling to stuff that is keeping me from God? Recently a group of friends challenged each other to a 40 Day Challenge which began with a fast. During the fast we were to seek God and discuss with him the things that are holding us back from walking by faith, seeking with new eyes, and being led by the Spirit. It was during this quiet contemplation, as it usually is, that I saw things that “poked” at my spirit, distracting me from a focus on God and how things “really are.” Since then, things have piled up to gently testify to me that there is a God and that he is perfectly mindful of me. He has a work that no one can stop and if we tap into his will for us we not only find internal peace and greater happiness, but we find purpose, meaning and clarity beyond belief.

So, there it is…a summary of the latest “stuff” going on with me. I’ve even considered pulling a Henry David Thoreau. Who knows were the next little bit will take me, but I’m confident more than ever, wherever it is I know the Lord prepares a way for his commands to be fulfilled (1 Ne 3:7) and that I’ll most likely be moving ahead, guided by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I will be doing (1 Ne 4:6).

Here’s trusting in God rather than voices that drown out the still small voice.