My thoughts have been tender on this topic recently. I am by no means perfect in my love for my fellow man, but I honor the God that fills my heart with peace and understanding towards his beautiful daughters. Last night I stumbled upon an old friend’s video that shares most powerfully the way I feel about the mothers and women in my life. It’s a mother’s day message, but I needed to say it right now. It’s a timeless message that I hope you will come back to any time you feel the burden of your station weighing you down, for I know that God will speak to you through these words of truth. He will love and lift you! I love each one of you and if I haven’t told you lately, please remind me and I’ll make sure to redouble my efforts! 🙂
I’m on a haiku kick, so here’s one about moms! I put it at the end because I’m hoping you’ll watch the video and be crying by the time you read it, so either you won’t be able to see it, or I’ll have a head start on it being good, ya know, kinda like how every mom thinks they’re kid’s the cutest and how no matter what it sounds like, the first piano recital always sounds sweet, I’m hoping the heart will be in that “everything is so sweet” stage. Either way, enjoy:
Lofty motherhood,
God’s precious gift to the world,
Uplifts fallen man
“Sisters, we, your brethren, cannot do what you were divinely designated to do from before the foundation of the world. We may try, but we cannot ever hope to replicate your unique gifts. There is nothing in this world as personal, as nurturing, or as life changing as the influence of a righteous woman.” (M. Russell Ballard, “Mothers and Daughters,” Liahona, May 2010, 18–21)
To my mind this morning was brought, like settling dews on the morning grass, the extreme and simple beauty that women have brought into my life over the years. I have been more richly blessed by “the most precious element of a woman’s divine nature—the nature to nurture” (Ballard) than I think I can even realize.
I have been honored to date over time a handful of girls who have exemplified the love of the savior in their hearts and actions. They have opened an otherwise closed boy and have helped to bring about change in his heart, helping him correct his course and remain faithful.
Friends (girls) of whom I can only describe our meetings and relationships as divinely appointed, have nurtured me, instinctively, in my times of need, giving me courage and belief to get back up, dust off and to try again with love for myself. It’s these moments that have filled my soul with possibility and vision of who I really am. It’s these small interactions that have made me greater than I could have ever been without it.
Guidance from many Spirit-led women has richly blessed my life. From speakers, to church leaders, to my grandmothers & most importantly my own mother, I have been lifted time and time again on the wings of angels who had no other desire than to help me believe that the seemingly impossible I face is but only a small step in a much grander masterpiece that God making in me.
Even the men who have blessed my life with similar love, encouragement & teaching have done so with a confidence born of familiarity with such “motherly” love, instilled so often by their own mothers, wives, girlfriends & women acquaintances.
It’s been a slow process by which I’m realizing over again the true beauty and power of women. It’s a journey that I am glad to be on, for I have seen over the years the faith of some of my sweetest and most dear friends’ shattered largely due to the poor examples of priesthood holders to which they were married. It’s a man’s responsibility to rule over his wife. But as Elder Hafen taught, “Genesis 3:16 states that Adam is to “rule over” Eve, but this doesn’t make Adam a dictator. A ruler can be a measuring tool that sets standards. Then Adam would live so that others may measure the rightness of their conduct by watching his. Being a ruler is not so much a privilege of power as an obligation to practice what a man preaches. Also, over in “rule over” uses the Hebrew bet, which means ruling with, not ruling over. If a man does exercise “dominion … in any degree of unrighteousness” (D&C 121:37; emphasis added), God terminates that man’s authority.” (Bruce C. Hafen and Marie K. Hafen, “Crossing Thresholds and Becoming Equal Partners,” Liahona, Aug 2007, 26–31)
The goal for the man is to rule in the true meaning of the word, modeling himself after Christ. Christ rules the church with love & diligence in providing for and in protecting & preserving it’s sanctity. A husband is to do the same for his wife. I love the picture painted in the story where Christ is compared to a mother hen who protects her young, covering them when danger is near, even to the point of losing her own life. THIS is the relationship a priesthood holder has with his wife when he understands his sacred duty and her divine nature.
In short, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” (Eph 5:25)
Living in mediocrity has been like living in a darkness. It’s here where I’ve seen myself as worthless, which has done more damage than I could have ever realized. For the way we see & love ourselves, at least in my experience, cannot be contained and kept from tainting how we see & love others. The good women in my life who have lifted me and built me and succored me like the Savior would if he were here deserve a Ryan that sees both them as everything they truly are, beautiful, powerful, creative, loving, divine, holy beings. And to do this I must take my visions from the fountains of eternal life, and not from the gutters of disbelief that line the roads of this mortal coil.
Thank you dear women. I cannot say enough about the good that you are and that you bring into my life. May the Lord bless you to see yourself as he sees you, for THIS is the solution to so many of your problems from low self-esteem, to depressive flurries and fear to bitterness & hate towards my gender. I know that men are rats, but the answer is not to feed them with the scraps of distrust which only perpetuate that lowly state, but to reach into the divinity that’s within each one of you and to lift him and to love him as you have me.
So, over the course of my years hear on earth I’ve experienced good friends and family members falling from the faith of their fathers. I used to hear others share stories of this and felt pretty protected from it. I had powerhouse friends, we were solid. We would occasionally do stupid things, but we weren’t going anywhere. This was how it was and this is how it would always be. I was wrong.
Between the moving I did as a kid, a missionary and a college student I would often part with good people whom I had grown to love deeply. Some I have met again and rejoiced as Alma did when he again met with the Sons of Mosiah after some time apart, “and what added more to his joy, they were still his brethren in the Lord; yea, and they had waxed strong in the knowledge of the truth; for they were men of a sound understanding and they had searched the scriptures diligently, that they might known the world of God” (Alma 17:2). Others I have spoken with in sorrow that their faith had waned when the heat of the sun beat down upon them. While not my decision in the end, I have often wondered, what could I have done more to support them through their trials?
Friend after friend has also shared with me similar stories and it’s very interesting to observe in myself what I’ve see happen in others. It’s that thing that starts to happen when we slowly let slip the values and truths that we hold dear. I once was bold and confident to say that going to church has never really been a problem for me. Then I find myself skipping here and there. I wonder if those that left did the same thing early on, when asked where I was, I made up a plausible excuse for my nonattendance.
What is it that makes us shut down with our peers and our people? Why do we retreat when we need to open up? Perhaps it was my overconfidence supported by statements of loved ones praising my faithfulness that allowed me to think I was above the possibility of personal apostasy. Was it this pride that shielded me from the dangers lurking just below the surface of the calm water. All is NOT well in Zion.
I’m not saying that I’ve left the church, because I haven’t. I am saying however, that I recognize just how easily it can happen.
Masterful and sarcastic atheist Richard Dawkins has put much of his life’s attention into repeatedly attempting to convince his fellow apes that there is no such thing as God. I typically come across his stuff in discussions with a good friend or on the web/video when I’m strong in my faith, but he’s the last person I’d like to meet in a dark ally when I’m wallowing in self-pity about my worth as a human being. He and the faithless like him seem to have little compassion for the struggles those of the faithful, likening religion to an common activity like needle point or some other quaint hobby. Perhaps his parents were killed by believers who put him in a “Brave New World” like reeducation chamber where he was pumped full of medication and repeatedly told that the earth was flat. That would probably get under my skin as well.
But enough with my character assassination. Mr. Dawkins, I apologize, I don’t like to do that.You just represent to me a much bigger idea that’s tormented man from the beginning. I have absolutely no problems with questions, it’s in our nature to seek to know them, but when cynicism and doubt lead to closing off answers rather then letting them in, I see folly. I think on this point we can agree. It may just be in different contexts. By the way, I love science, my mind is always examining the world around me seeking to understand. So again, no hard feelings? Good, let’s do lunch. My treat.
Others who follow Dawkin’s faithless line of thinking have even compared belief in God to a praying to a luck horseshoe. Aside from the obvious differences here, I can’t help but see these arguments as mirroring the advent of Korihor in the Book of Mormon who said amongst other troubling teachings that the believers were “bound down under a foolish and a vain hope” (Alma 30:13). He calls God nothing more than a fairy tale akin to unicorns or hobgoblins. Will be interesting to see who the emperor is who is not wearing any clothes. (Check out: Countering Korihor’s Philosophy)
To start my babblings a winding down: There are times when our roots run deep and the wind comes, the storm rages on and we stand firm in the faith. There are other times when all it takes is negative thoughtless comment from a fellow saint to shake our very core. Well, let those who bend in the wind to the pressures of daily living, I offer you my faith in a God that lives and loves his children. And when things seem hard to understand, just hold on, call me if you need, the light will come for those who seek.
Firm are the decrees
of God from above
Seeing all, he knows
the necessity of love
But in his wisdom
he allows us to grow
And growth requires patience,
the ability to go slow
So down here in our passions
we worry and fret
Convinced that if God loved us
he’s step in and set
Right all the injustices
we see man do to man
Failing to recognize
God’s perfect plan
And no, it’s not to torture,
to abandon or abuse
But rather to give agency,
our choice to properly use
It’s in this way alone
that our growth can be whole
We take what’s allotted
and devote to it our soul
For you see, in the end
he who finishes ahead
Is he who finds freedom
through God as his head
“My will” delivers one thing –
chains that rightly bind
And “thy will” quite another –
Faith, the power to heal mankind
God bless my hurting friends and family.
May you recognize in your lonely times that God is speaking to us always.
And how true it is that when we draw near unto him that he draws near unto us.
So, a while back I heard of a guy who decided to put a twist on his birthday, instead of getting, he gave. The first year he asked everyone to give $30 for his 30th and he took the money and provided clean drinking water for a village in a country that didn’t have it. Brilliant!
So, this year, I’m doing the same. I originally thought I’d give books to kids with the donations, but I teamed up with the water guy cuz they’re more organized and I totally love the cause. Check out here what it’s all about, watch the video and donate below.
I’ll be fund raising from now until June 30th. So, help spread the word by sharing this post on facebook, emailing the link to your friends or whatever works! PS I’ve decided to match all gifts in by June 30th.
Introductory Note: If you’re reading this, it was either because I care deeply about you and I felt impressed to share it with you or if I may be so bold, you were led to read it and if you pay attention to how you feel as you do, there’s something that God has to say to you.
This experience wasn’t about me all of a sudden gaining a testimony. It WAS about God all of a sudden opening my eyes to the way he has always been a part of every single aspect of my life. It required some effort from me and for that I will forever be grateful.
Now, before you begin, because this experience is so dear to me, I have a small request. If you don’t have at least 30 minutes of quiet uninterrupted time to read and think about this experience I was given as a pure gift from God, please print it off or come back later when that’s the case. My reason for this request? Well, let’s just say it’ll make all the difference.
The thought came to me like lightning, only the kind that doesn’t fry your brain. It was clean and quick and as far as I could remember it was the first time that it came to me. The thought brought with it a certain degree of uneasiness. To be real, intense fear more adequately describes the experience. I was not far from the day I would leave my home and serve a mission for my church in South Korea and I had no idea if what I was to teach was true!
Upon further reflection I decided to ask my mother about this thing called the Holy Ghost. I had heard about it all my life and at that point I couldn’t recall ever feeling or understanding it. I was confused and anxious to say the least.
Directing me to the promise that was given by the last writer in the Book of Mormon I read these words, “And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere hear, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.”
I’m sure that I’d heard it before, but never had I needed to take up this guy on his promise. I had a good life, good friends and never felt a need. The need to know was approaching very quickly.
I now had a choice. I could stretch myself and seek to know of I could listen to my fears which said “what if it’s not true?”
I soon thereafter took to a serious daily study of the Book of Mormon. I would study each night and pray as I did so. My prayers often felt like they hit the ceiling and fell right back down. But as time progressed I began to feel a calm and peace that I was on the right track.
In my prayers proceeding study as well as after study I asked almost every night if the words I was studying were true. No voice came at first …no voice came by the time I was half-way through, though by that time I had found a great companion in the words of the Book of Mormon. I occasionally found myself staying up a couple of hours pouring over the stories and feeling like I could really relate the characters therein. While I still didn’t feel like I had my answer to the truthfulness of the book I was finding great analogies for my life, ways to protect myself against sin and great role models of belief, strength & happiness.
The lives of all my new friends weren’t always easy, again I could relate. My friend Captain Moroni was continually at war with his brothers. He spent much of his time strengthening the cities of his people so they could survive attacks that he knew were coming. They did. The cities prevailed because of his planning and preparation.
My other new friend Alma was a spiritual advisor for a wicked king. As he listened to a prisoner testify of God’s commandments, of Christ’s healing and of the disobedience of the people something in his heart clung onto the words. The prisoner was killed and he would have been too had he not ran from the kings guards. He found safety in hiding where he wrote the words of the prisoner, sought a change of heart and his ways. He found it and from then on sought to teach the truth to others.
I also grew to befriend 2,000 young men who were taught by their mothers that if they believed in and followed God’s law, they would have nothing to fear. There came a time when the families of these boys were in danger. Neighboring people sought to kill them because of their beliefs. The fathers of those boys had previously made a pact with God that they would no longer take up their swords to kill their fellow man. It was then that those 2,000 boys stood to protect their families. During battle many in the joint armies were killed, but when done, all 2,000 were accounted for and they rejoiced in the love and faith their mothers had given them.
As I was gaining these new friendships something else was happening though I wouldn’t realize it until later. My Father in Heaven in his great love and mercy was slowly peeling away layers of disbelief and doubt from my heart and mind.
Before I say just how this scripture journey ended I want to convey several experiences that happened during the course of my trip.
As I grew up I had been a bit controlling of my belongings and was somewhat of a perfectionist to boot. Those traits often came into conflict with my two younger sisters. I mean, a kid can only take so many broken and dulled crayons, not to mention they usually used my stuff without my permission. I think the worst part of it was that they colored outside the lines!!!
Anyway, long story short, I felt like they were out to get me somehow…because they often were. Such were our interactions that when I used to walk into a room their hair would stand up like when cats see a dog.
One day as I was reading one of my sisters did something that normally would have annoyed me to no end. I recall being very calm and letting it roll right off my back, very unusual. It didn’t sink in then just what had happened, but it later would fall into context.
Another time I had planned on staying in town for the night. Because we lived up the canyon and it was a good 20 minute drive home and I at this point in time I found it easier to just stay at a friend’s house than to drive home. For some reason I remember wandering around town, not really making any headway towards my friend’s place. As I stood in the Ream’s grocery store at the mouth of the canyon I decided to just go home instead.
When I god home I began my nightly ritual of studying my Book of Mormon. This happened to be one of those nights when I couldn’t put down the book. Tiredness had escaped me and 1 0’clock passed without my notice. By the time 2 o’clock rolled around I was still going strong. It was somewhere between then and 4 am (I think closer to 4) that I heard a faint rattling against the wall that neighbored my little sister’s room. I got up to see what it was and found Mindy in a diabetic shock. I was truly scared and called immediately for my mom. When she and my step-father came up they did gave her a tube of glucose and soon Mindy stopped and came to. Everything turned out okay.
I have wondered occasionally what would have happened had I not felt impressed to go home that night and got caught up in my study of the Book of Mormon.
Last, and by no means the only other experience of the sort, I sat in my room reading one sunny winter day when I heard tires squealing outside my window. I got up to see and there was a man trying to get his car dislodged from the snow. Without a second thought I hurried & put my snow pants and boots on and ran out to help him.
Where three experiences initially came and went without any real fanfare and I was still answer-less as to the question I had been asking daily: “Is the Book of Mormon true?”
When I finally finished reading I recall sitting back in my chair with the last pages laying open on my drawing table before me. “Is it true?” was the question that lingered in my mind, floating there like a feather on a soft breeze. I reviewed Moroni’s promise that my mother had shown me. Another part stood out to me this time. In the verse before it told me to read and pray I it says, “behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye should receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.”
So, I began to ponder. Into my mind came scenes of the Lord helping the children of Israel in to their promised land, feeding them while they were in their wilderness. I remembered the Lord sending Adan heavenly messengers to teach him truth. I thought about the protection he gave to the strippling warriors & the their fathers, the Anti-Nephi-Lehis who buried their weapons as a sign to God that they wanted to follow him and how he consequently protected them from losing their faith.
My mind then went on a very interesting journey and I saw how the Lord had been preparing me for this moment. After thinking of the scriptural examples of God’s love and mercy I began quite naturally to think about experiences in my own life. I recalled those three experiences I related before and started to see things in a new light. Before beginning my journey began I was positive that I hadn’t ever had any spiritual experiences, that I hadn’t ever felt the Spirit.
Well, the vision I had then wasn’t one of God and Jesus Christ appearing to me, but it was just as life changing. The love of God had always been there, I just couldn’t see it, mainly because I wasn’t looking. My eyes had been opened to the ways in which I was changing as a result of studying and praying about the Book of Mormon:
My heart had begun to soften towards my sisters. I directly credit my journey to find out if the Book of Mormon was true to the love I now feel for them. I also began to be more open to helping others when they struggled. I was a different man. In fact, that may have been when I actually grew up, for it was then that learned, through the power of God, that my life was not my own, but that I was here to love and serve others.
I now had my answer to the question that once frightened me only months earlier. I found my Savior in the pages of the Book of Mormon and before I knew it, he had entered my heart as well. He increased my desire to serve. Somewhere along the way he helped me to shed my angry heart and other desires to sin. He increased my love for my family and forgiveness came quickly.
If God is love and if he inspires all good then I found him as I opened my heart to the possibility that the Book of Mormon could be true and as I tested that possibility through study, prayer and self reflection. Christ had changed me through this book for the better.
I now know that the Book of Mormon is true. And through that spiritual gift of understanding I also know that Joseph Smith translated it, that Jesus is God’s son and that all good we experience comes because he died for us & overcame our chains of sin and death.
Through this journey with the Book of Mormon I also am confident in God’s love for us all. I know he didn’t send us to earth without a light to guide us. He sent prophets and they speak for him. There have been many times where I was able to face a situation because I had recently studied the words of the prophets of our day.
God lives! He speaks in our day. He sent his son so we could live again and so that we could change into better people. One day we will stand before God and account for how we used our time here. He will be loving & merciful & judge us like no other can, perfectly, for he knows all – our hearts, our motives, our understanding, our fears, our passions & struggles.
He has power to work any situation for our good and to make all things right that we have felt unjustly dealt. He is a God of truth and we can trust what he tells us. And that is true whether it comes through a prophet, a parent or a friend. The Spirit speaks words and feelings of peace to our mind and hearts. We can know when we feel this that we are feeling the Spirit and what is being said is from God. Many disregard their own impressions, but this is a loving Heavenly Father reaching out to speak to his children.
This is how the Lord showed to me the Book of Mormon’s truth; by opening my eyes and letting me see the changes that had come about in my heart and in my life. He did this just the same way he shows anyone sincerely seeking to know.
Only by adhering to true principles can anyone really experience true joy. It’s no different than adhering to the laws govern the growth of plants to receive food, or obeying the laws of aerodynamics to get a plane to fly. Obey the laws, get the reward. Disobey and the reward will forever escape you.
There are many voices out there amongst those we know who cast a shadow of doubt on the existence of God or on his true character. Because they have not sought to know him, they reason incorrectly that he is not there. In many ways, whether in words or actions, they encourage us to doubt too. However, the ideas they share with us do us a great disservice, for they separate us from an infinitely loving Father in Heaven who desperately is waiting for us to seek him out so that he can share with his children the steps to be happy here on earth AND for eternity (for indeed there is life after our body lays to rest).
I love my Savior. He has saved me once (from selfishness) and I know he will do so many more times before I die if I will allow him to by seeking him out and following the quiet impressions that come to my mind and heart.
Walking as a disciple of Christ has required a lot of sacrifices from me and though it’s hard I have found much more reward in changing my behaviors to match his word than can ever be found in changing my beliefs to match my natural inclinations.
I know God lives. I know he sent his son. I know he sent us prophets to teach us the way of true joy. I know He’s given us his power to use in performing his work, the priesthood. I know the Book of Mormon is the true word of God for our benefit. I know that Joseph translated the Book by the instruction and power of God. This he did so that we, God’s children, could know of his great love for us, so that we could see that he keeps his promises and so that we could come unto Christ and feel of the pure joy that comes from being led by the soft impressions of the Spirit.
I love my God, my family, and my friends. God is good and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is led by him, through living prophets.
Now, to my friends and family and anyone else that comes across these words. I thank you dearly for reading the words of my testimony which mean more to me than my life. If these words “made sense,” “rang true,” or you just “felt something,” please take a moment to thank the Lord. I want let you know as clearly as I can that God is no respecter of persons. I am nothing special. He didn’t give me these experiences because I am in some way better than anyone else. He cares infinitely about each one of his children, even those that have strayed. Heaven knows I have! He will lead anyone to gain a firm conviction of truth. The catch: you got to want it, you have to ask for it and you got to pay the price. He speaks to everyone in ways they can understand and in his own time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Finally, if you These are the men that I listen to. It’s their words along with those in the scriptures that I think about, pray to understand and strive to follow. I know their words are the words of Christ and that they lead to peace, hope and deliverance.
My thoughts have been tender on this topic recently. I am by no means perfect in my love for my fellow man, but I honor the God that fills my heart with peace and understanding towards his beautiful daughters. Last night I stumbled upon an old friend’s video that shares most powerfully the way I feel about the mothers and women in my life. It’s a mother’s day message, but I needed to say it right now. It’s a timeless message that I hope you will come back to any time you feel the burden of your station weighing you down, for I know that God will speak to you through these words of truth. He will love and lift you! I love each one of you and if I haven’t told you lately, please remind me and I’ll make sure to redouble my efforts! 🙂
