I can’t explain how grateful I am for gratitude. After spinning around in my head for a couple hours, I decided to “unspin” by listing some things I am grateful for. So, here are ten to help me surrender the spin to God…I’m sure there’ll be more to come as I often find myself in that spin:
My Mother: I don’t remember a week that I didn’t get a letter for her on my mission and now I don’t recall a week she hasn’t texted me to tell me she loves me and prays for me.
The Roof Overhead: Despite my indignant circumstances I am coming to appreciate the simple things like a place to live and the good faith of my roommate to trust I will rise again and be on my feet.
Food: Sometimes I think, there’s nothing to eat, but even though this childhood saying pops back up every now and then I always have had food to eat. I’ve got very creative with my Ramen. 🙂
The Word of God: Feasting wouldn’t be complete without food for the soul. I am learning to be humble and fight my tendency to do other things instead of reading. When I do this I find that God is near.
Music: In moments where no other external stimuli can reach me, music often sooths the savage Ryan. It can pick me up and amplify my good mood. It can rearrange my priorities and give me clarity again.
The Faith of Friends: There’s a saying that’s so true and it goes something like this, when we reach for the best within us, we give others silent permission to do the same. I have been lifted by the faith of others.
My Body: Though I don’t always understand the way that I feel, I can’t help but love the learning process and how a quiet ear can bear great insight into what ails us at any given moment.
Prayer: I can’t explain just how much strength I get from submitting to God in daily prayer.
My Ability to Think: While overthinking is never too good, I am grateful for the gift of reason. Combined with prayer there is no challenge I cannot conquer.
Repentance: The word I understand simply means to turn to. To me this means turning to seeing things honestly as they are and letting go of things I cannot control. God is good
Alright, so you may have noticed, if you’re a neurotic Facebook/Internet stalker like I am that I have been on a documentary kick over the last several months. I’m not sure why this is, perhaps it’s because I really like to learn, research, study, whatever. Whatever the reason, I have come across a body of knowledge that every seems to sense, but very few seem to be giving any of it credit. It reminds me of the McDouble, fries and shake I grabbed on the way home from watching Super Size Me ((http://www.snagfilms.com/films/title/super_size_me/)). It’s the “well, ya only live once, so may as well enjoy myself/what I eat” mentality ((http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/28.7?lang=eng#6)). I know I am not the only one to have thought, “yeah, I know my diet’s probably not the best, but I have no idea where to start,” so any enthusiasm I experience quickly fades away like the seeds dropped by the wayside in ever so telling parable found Matthew 13 ((http://lds.org/scriptures/nt/matt/13)).
I have been battling what I feel is an uphill fight for quite some time now. In 2007 I cried when I read accounts about those who have ADD in a magnificent book by a doctor with ADD called Driven to Distraction. I felt validated and deeply understood for the first time in a very unique way. Just prior to that reading I had gone through what I felt was a diagnostic nightmare; Sitting down for ten minutes, telling a doctor that prescribes ADD meds that I didn’t apply myself in school and that I lose my keys sometimes seemed a rather subjective means of determining that I need a schedule II controlled substance ((http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Controlled_Substances_Act#Schedule_II_controlled_substances)) & stimulant pumped into my brain. Perhaps one day we’ll look back and say, “Man! What were we thinking!?” kinda like we have with the barbaric practice of sticking a rod into someone’s brain & destroying functioning in an attempt to alleviate undesirable symptoms, called a lobotomy.
Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not placing judgments on anyone who is using or has used psychotropic drugs. I’m just saying that I struggled that day I walked out of the doctor’s office. I debated whether or not to take the prescription I received. I have gone back and forth since then numerous times. At times I feel like I just want to have clarity, I want to push a button and make everything better. It’s in those times the call to go the drug route seems to have particular appeal. I have to admit, Dr Daniel Amen & Dr Ed Hallowell have both become two of my heroes, but both of them give the go ahead to use Adderall, etc. They both talk about other options, but neither advocate a change in diet to absolutely set things back to normal. I guess you’d call their advise the moderate or middle ground, not too extreme either way. Hard to get criticized too much there.
I have started many journeys to maintain focus on the things I feel passionate about and have gotten sidetracked more times than I can count. Over the past two years I’ve been interested in the world around me. A small group of us started a little study group to learn about the principles of freedom that led to the founding of our nation. It has been an amazing ride. I have listened to, read, discussed and debated many topics & now wish all would take the opportunity to do the same. Well, I believe it was that forum that led me to seeking more and more about how the world works and what’s behind the curtains so to speak, the things that we take for granted and assume will always be as they are. Well, that’s what all this is coming to? Diet.
Fast forward to summer 2010. I saw a movie called Food, Inc (). I believe it intrigued me because of the impact that Super Size Me had on me. I watched and was in awe. The food I eat doesn’t really come in most instances from where I would think. There’s a whole system in place to feed us not nutrition, but convenience. I think I took away from that movie just what kind of impact a large scale, pressures-driven system can have on our individual worlds without us ever knowing it. I of course had come to realize from our study groups that a similar thing occurs at times in government, but my understanding was now expanding into a new area.
Then about two & a half months ago I stumbled upon a video called The Future of Food ((http://www.hulu.com/watch/67878/the-future-of-food)). It took Food, Inc. to another level as far as the latent affects of our food system goes. High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS), a contributor to the “obesity epidemic” that you’ve probably heard about a hundred times about was an outgrowth of government subsidies of corn (King Corn). I recently talked to my good friend Mike who steered me towards a Princeton study that showed rats given HFCS gained weight. Upon further investigation it appears that fructose, unlike sucrose, doesn’t trigger the body to tell you that you’re full, it then needs to store the excess energy it’s getting as fat. ((http://www.princeton.edu/main/news/archive/S26/91/22K07/))
Well, this one little insight probably doesn’t mean much outside the context of on last thing. All these videos, including some I failed to mention (about fluoride, water quality, air quality, autism, etc) finally struck something in me deep enough to spur me to action. As I tweeted lasted a bit ago ((http://twitter.com/#!/kingryanarthur/status/18064987251544065)), I started a diet plan that has called for the elimination of not just HFCS, but hydrogenated & partially hydrogenated oils, white flour/rice, sugar, processed/packaged foods, alcohol and caffeine. Well, I thought I had a head start because I had already eliminated caffeine from my diet back in high school and I don’t drink, but I’ve already had some cravings for the sweets that I love so much.
This is the first time I’ve aimed to address a complete overhaul in my diet. And while I have come to believe this diet can help address all sorts of ailments, I am personally seeking a greater ability to focus and turn down distractions. I am not seeking to hand away my agency, on the contrary, I see this as part of an active agency and choice to live a healthy life.
A couple last thoughts from what I have come to recognize as true principles:
“What you learn spiritually depends, to a degree, on how you treat your body. That is why the Word of Wisdom is so important.
“The habit-forming substances prohibited by that revelation—tea, coffee, liquor, tobacco—interfere with the delicate feelings of spiritual communication, just as other addictive drugs will do.
“Do not ignore the Word of Wisdom, for that may cost you the ‘great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures’ promised to those who keep it. And good health is an added blessing” ((in Conference Report, Oct. 1994, 78; or Ensign, Nov. 1994, 61))
Dallin Oaks said:
“The use of medical science is not at odds with our prayers of faith and our reliance on priesthood blessings. When a person requested a priesthood blessing, Brigham Young would ask, “Have you used any remedies?” To those who said no because “we wish the Elders to lay hands upon us, and we have faith that we shall be healed,” President Young replied: “That is very inconsistent according to my faith. If we are sick, and ask the Lord to heal us, and to do all for us that is necessary to be done, according to my understanding of the Gospel of salvation, I might as well ask the Lord to cause my wheat and corn to grow, without my plowing the ground and casting in the seed. It appears consistent to me to apply every remedy that comes within the range of my knowledge, and [then] to ask my Father in Heaven … to sanctify that application to the healing of my body.” ((http://lds.org/liahona/2010/05/healing-the-sick?lang=eng&format=conference))
Hippocrates said, “Let your food be your medicine, and your medicine be your food.” (())
Could this just be another thing that Ryan tries before moving onto something else? Sure. But it could also be one of those things that I start off with, slowly at first, grasping for stability as a baby learns to walk, and then placing a bit here and a bit there until I’m in a whole different place of understanding. It feels like the later.
Hope you enjoy some of these as much as I did. Keep posted, I’ve already watched & read many more things since I originally wrote this post.
I originally titled this post “Desires of Babylon” but realized that the post only mentioned them in passing. I think that title would make a cool song. I’ma gonna think on that! In the meantime. I was discussing the topic of desires the other day with my friend Holly. We were pondering & discussing how important they are in the course of our lives. It soon became clear to me that our desires are everything! Let’s examine this idea.
To begin with the Lord states that he looks upon the heart of man, not on the outer appearance as man does. (1 Sam 16:7) Why is this? And why does he require of us a broken heart and contrite spirit? Why does the Lord ask us to give him a willing heart? What’s so important about the heart that he’s going to use it as part of our judgment?
An important component in understanding the doctrine of “heart state” is understanding that our God is not a God of force nor compulsion. He created us and allows us to choose what we well. He of course wishes us to return to him, but knows that in his grand palace of order and cleanliness, we must choose willingly to live by his law and accept Christ as our Savior that we may be clean. For “that which is governed by law is also preserved by law and perfected and sanctified by the same.” (D&C 88:34.) The grand test here on Earth is to see what we will do with that will (agency) of ours.
Commonly people state that they are glad they left their church because they are now “free” to do what they want. That is indeed true, and was before they left. What their statement boils down to is, “I’m free to not be reminded that my choices have consequences.” This is a dangerous place to be, especially for one who truly wants to be free. Though God’s path is straight and narrow, the reward is true freedom, greater ability to act, while the opposite direction eventually leads to constricted actions, understanding & abilities.
You can tell the state of a man’s heart by examining his desires. Our heart and the state thereof are inseparably connected to our desires.
A desire is a strong want. What we want will manifest in action & affect the state of our hearts as seen when Nephi had “great desires to know of the mysteries of God, wherefore, I did cry unto the Lord; and behold he did visit me, and did soften my heart that I did believe all the words which had been spoken by my father; wherefore, I did not rebel against him like unto my brothers.” (1 Ne 2:16)
I began at this point to ask myself questions like, What do I worship? Who do I serve? What do I love? Who has my heart? What is my treasure? A question came back almost in response to those ponderings and it was simply this, “How do you spend your time?” In this simple question it became clear to me that I could see where my desires were taking me by noting how I spent my time. What we love, worship and serve can all be observed when we take an inventory of our time.
What I choose on a daily basis shapes and molds by desires over time. My desires ultimately lead will lead me to yield to God’s almighty will or to one of the four desires of Babylon: gain, power, popularity & lust (1 Ne 22:23) Our desires therefore determine our direction & destination.
An interesting thing about desires is that they move us to act in ways that will reinforce that desire, increasing it over time. Thus, if we give our will to God we shouldn’t be surprised when we become a new person in Christ with a softened character and with new eyes with which to see the world – the “wages” of serving God. I experienced this transformation noticeably before my mission and am continually seeking it. Conversely, when we give our will, our time, our energy and effort to the adversary – stealing, lying, lustful thoughts and actions, etc. – we slowly become chained to his will, receiving wages or “rewards” from serving Satan. Addictions, hard hearts towards our fellow man and a life filled with fear are but three forms of currency with which the devil pays his servants.
I remember reading many times about when Alma “ohed” that he were an angel and could have the wish of his heart. He then quickly added, “I ought not to harrow up in my desires, the firm decree of a just God, for I know that he granteth unto men according to their desire, whether it be unto death or unto life; yea, I know that he allotteth unto men, yea, decreeth unto them decrees which are unalterable, according to their wills, whether they be unto salvation or unto destruction.” (Alma 29:4)
Supported by a plethora of self-help books that suggest “if you can conceive it & believe it then you can achieve it,” I used to think that Alma was suggesting the Lord gives us whatever we want. However, when we read this verse the other day I came to see something different. God has eternal laws and leaves us to choose to follow them and live eternally with Him or to disobey his laws and die spiritually. We attract what we are and it takes some conscious decisions to change in one way or the other. In short, the principle is: “intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom receiveth wisdom; trust embraceth truth.” (D&C 88:40)
So then, with all that in mind the question may be redundant, but “how important is it to understand what we desire?”
Well, since we receive wages (consequences) of him who we serve (give time to), it seems like it’d be important to know the terms of the contract we’re signing with our employer, the one who gives us our marching orders. However, no mater who we choose to serve via the course of our desires & eventually our actions, our wage ultimately is that we develop a love for that which we serve, it becomes our treasure, the thing we value most, the object of our worship, what’s in our heart. And the state of our heart is what God looks upon.
That my desires become those of Zion and not those of Babylon:
May my gain be of the Spirit
My power in the priesthood
With zeal to be more godly
To glorify thy name alone
Alright, it’s not like those bible stories that you hear about where someone goes off into the wilderness and starves for 40 days…I’m still curious about that. Can someone really survive on no food/drink that long? Wow!
But rather this fast is a media fast. In the course of the last several months I’ve found myself completely engrossed in the world of technology and although Kip had it just right when he sand to La-fawn-duh, “I love technology!” I feel that there are things the Lord cannot tell me because “my line is busy.”
Over the course of the next 40 days I am going to scale down my use of media, the internet, texting, twitter and all the other noise, noise, noise (Intentional reference to Dr. Suess)!
Because of my scale down it may seem to some of you that may not be as available as I was before. However, I am making it a point to accept phone calls. I do love my people and you mean a lot to me.
So, as far as what this all means. Here’s my standard:
Music: Instrumental, Mo-tab & Jack Johnson :o) He inspires me!
Movies: None. Go see a play, play some sports, or some other fun thing. Exception: You can see ONE PG movie during this time. Make it a good one.
TV: None. Replacement – write some guitar songs, poetry, read or do some family history instead.
Internet Use:
At work – 3 hour daily max. Plan time well to accomplish.
At home – Only goal-oriented browsing. 30 45 min daily limit.
Computer: For journaling, writing & planning only. No games, or other programs. 1 hour daily max.
Facebook: for Walk the Talk & Clean Hands groups only – once a week on Sunday every other day for 30 minutes.
Email:Check once a week for 30 minutes Check only once for 5 minutes every other day or if someone needs to get me something urgent. (This is down from several times each day, spending upwards of 30 minutes each day.)
Texting & Twittering: Stop all Facebook, twitter and other social notifications. No replies via text. Talk on phone or in person if nearby.
Here are some other growth related activities that will replace some of the noise:
Work Out: Run to and from work at least 3 times a week (prep for marathon), rock climb for an hour at least 3 times a week after work, yoga… :o) that’s all I’m going to say ’bout that.
Sleep: Bed at 10, up at 6. Exception: Friday night: 12 IF something is planned.
Scriptures: I spend 1 hour in my scriptures daily and ponder their meaning in the context of my calling – Clean Hands Chair.
Patriarchal Blessing: Read weekly
Food: Eat breakfast and prepare a lunch for work.
Work: Plan for 30 minutes at the beginning of each day. Take a walking/stretching break at least each hour.
Planning: Nightly plan the next day. Weekly review previous week and plan next week’s main events from goals.
Journaling: Nightly at 9:30.
This list isn’t comprehensive. I expect to receive guidance along the way during my study, planning and journaling time.
If you need something, call me: 3.6.1.5.0.0.2 – Otherwise, see you in 40!
King Arthur
PS: Oh yeah, and to kick off my 40 days I’m going to shave my head…kind of.
