This started as a comment I posted on the imported Facebook Note of my blog post Simplifying Stuff that I felt deserved it’s own showing on the floor room of my blog.
So, during this last conference I had an interesting experience. I hadn’t felt solid strength in conference for some time, ESP not like in the pre-mission college institute days. But for some reason I decided to prepare for this conference by reviewing the last one. I put out the challenge to the Walk the Talk group and got some takers. So, each day for the last 3 weeks or so I spent reading a conference talk or two, quietly each morning in my back yard with my bare feet finding solace intertwined with the long blades of grass.
It happened slowly, almost like watching my plants grow back there. But compounded over time, it WAS noticeable…I was starting to “feel” again. I was spending time in prayer asking that my eyes would see what I wasn’t seeing on my own. I was indeed seeking for answers. Answers that I needed to help me find peace that I kept grasping for, but seemed to disappear just as smoke would when trying to hold it.
It was in this simple morning ritual that I started again to feel impressions or guidances, simple, but sure direction for myself. Some things I felt impressed to do were to remove all my books from my room, reduce the time I spent working so I could have more balance and connect with friends in meaningful and guided ways.
This little effort created in me a thirst and excitement to participate in conference this time around, similar to how I used to be. And during conference I had moment after moment where I would hear a phrase resonate clearly with something I had already been moved upon to think about, write or do during my backyard study. It felt clearly like a validation from heaven. In those many moments during conference I knew that I was being led. And not all things that I felt to do during my backyard sessions were explicitly written in the words I was studying.
Such an amazing place to be, a fragile one, one that must be protected if it’s important to me. But in the end all the thanks and praise must go to the God that gave us all life and who didn’t leave us without direction here on earth. “When our sacred doctrine & beliefs are challenged,” said Bishop Edgely, as mine has been recently, “this is our opportunity to become acquainted with God in a most private and intimate manner.” ((http://new.lds.org/general-conference/sessions?lang=eng&bcpid=610705729001&bctid=623525042001))
Similarly, Brad Wilcox says on a talk tape, “We don’t have to seek out others who are struggling so we feel justified. And we certainly don’t have to hate those that don’t struggle so that we can feel better. And we don’t have to surrender to addictions and hate ourselves, as easy as that is to do. Instead, we simply have to let faith be an anchor to our souls.”
I’m not sure why those quotes came to mind, I guess it’s just that it is so easy to give in to the voices that say what we’ve known to be true isn’t. And while it is so hard to see sometimes, the help we seek is always right there, waiting for us to seek. I KNOW all it takes is a little alone time with God to reestablish again the foundations of our faith and that our faith is what anchors & grounds us. That idea I really tried to express in basic terms in my post The Essence of Prayer.
Thanks to all my friends who give my life meaning. Thanks to family who has given me much joy and opportunity to grow. And thanks to God for his patience with my wandering and for always being there to embrace me when I return to him.
We’re all on a journey. Boiled down, that journey is one of making sense out of our lives. We’re all just feeling along for the path that leads to happiness ((Happiness is often referred to in many different ways: salvation, eternal life, joy are all ways to refer to this)). Something essential to note is that we are all enshrouded by a fog of sorts ((“It is imperative to note that this mist of darkness descends on all the travelers—the faithful and the determined ones (the elect, we might even say) as well as the weaker and ungrounded ones.” (Jeffrey R. Holland, “Safety for the Soul,” Ensign, Nov 2009, 88–90, http://new.lds.org/general-conference/2009/10/safety-for-the-soul?lang=eng) )), which clouds the way on our journey and necessitates sincerity and diligence in seeking out the right path, the one that actually can deliver what we seek. This care wouldn’t be necessary if there was but one path and one voice vying for our devotion. But there are many voices, all demanding we worship them ((James E. Faust, “Voice of the Spirit”, Ensign, June 2006, 2–6, http://new.lds.org/ensign/2006/06/voice-of-the-spirit?lang=eng)). And not all lead to the same end.
Many Voices
These voices stand as the Sirens of old, calling for us to enjoy the journey after their fashion ((“Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die” http://scriptures.lds.org/en/2_ne/28/7-8#7)), failing to note, as many in advertising do, the hazards and consequences of buying their brand of “happiness” ((http://scriptures.lds.org/en/2_ne/28/22#22, http://scriptures.lds.org/en/2_ne/26/22#22 One danger in continuing in our sins is that our desires so often change to fit our choices; therefor, while there’s always a way out (as Pres Uchtdorf testifies) we may, after long, have very little desire, hope or faith to look for it.)). For many however, the sleek packaging and bold sales assertions are assurance enough to convince them that indeed, THIS path will lead them to happiness. This is the the fog of which I spoke, the mist, the “smoke and mirrors” as they say. And this is why we must be proactive in examining the paths we take and the voices we heed.
The One Voice
Amid all the voices, there is a quiet one that speaks peace & comfort. It cannot be heard if we are active in listening to the vast endless noise that surrounds us daily ((See YouTube Video, “Voice of the Spirit” on https://www.ryanmendenhall.com/blog/2010/09/04/simplifying-stuff.htm)). It’s much too delicate to force its way into our lives. Its a voice that’s respectful of our desires and thus requires an invitation, and sincerity. Because it’s quiet, we too must be quiet if we are to hear it. It’s a voice that when heard can whisper good feelings to our hearts and calm clarity to our minds ((http://scriptures.lds.org/en/dc/6/22-23#22, http://scriptures.lds.org/en/dc/9/7-9#9)). The language of this voice is love ((http://scriptures.lds.org/en/1_jn/4/8#8)). We can be sure we feel it when we are filled with love for those around us. We know we have found it when we desire good for our fellow man ((http://scriptures.lds.org/en/ether/4/12#12)).
Important to me, this pleasant voice fills us with love for ourselves, with hope and with assurance that the path we’re on is the one that truly leads to happiness & peace ((http://scriptures.lds.org/en/moro/10/5#5)). The best part is that this remains true even when the voice is delivering reprimands or course corrections. Sirens, on the other hand, deliver either debilitating laden shame or avoidance infested apathy, but never peace coupled with the capacity to mount confidently the trials that we face as does the One True Voice.
This quiet voice that strengthens, teaches, comforts, guides, encourages, motivates, calms and clarifies is called by many names, but it is the Source of all truth and thus happiness ((http://scriptures.lds.org/en/moro/10/22#22)). It is the One Voice we must learn let lead us. I call it the Holy Ghost or Spirit, but honest people in all religions and walks of life have felt its guidance and are happy because they listen and follow it. Through patience and practice in inviting, asking, listening & following we open up a world that can ONLY be seen by those who have walked this path. The key to opening the door to this world is prayer.
Prayer
Prayer at its most basic level is communication with the Source of Truth. In prayer we extend an invitation to the Source to be with us, to guide and lead us. This puts us in a place to hear its gentle words. In prayer we also bring to the table the questions that perplex us and that hold us back from peace and joy. We seek for softer hearts that allow us to see sweetness in what we are impressed upon to do, instead of fearing or feeling burdened ((http://scriptures.lds.org/en/1_ne/2/16#16)). We also will often need courage and strength if we are to act on what we learn. This because these guidances are often stretching, but extremely rewarding if followed ((http://scriptures.lds.org/en/1_ne/3/7#7)). Action is vital, because truth only becomes part of us as we live it and a life of truth is the only way to happiness. So, the principle of intent to act underscores the attitude we need have while we pray. When we resolve to act on what we come to learn through the quiet tutelage of the Spirit, even if practically it seems we need do another, we learn both how the Spirit speaks to us and how to trust in the One True Voice.
When we put ourselves in tune to hear the One Voice, the Holy Ghost or Voice of the Lord, that voice that fills a void in us that no other can, we are led and a whole new world of opportunities opens up for us! Much of our discontent and sadness stems from trying to fill that hole inside of us with that which the Siren’s tell us to fill it ((http://scriptures.lds.org/en/alma/41/10#10, http://scriptures.lds.org/en/moro/10/22#22)). When we mistakenly follow the wrong voice to fill or mask our emptiness, it crowds out the only thing that can fit, the Only Source of real peace. I realize now that this is why I am being led to simplify my life. It’s to silence the incessant voices that drown out my ability to hear the Spirit. It’s to give place for the One Voice. The truth however is not had in simplification alone, but in the relationship I can then develop with the Truth, with God. Simplifying is a means to a much greater end, and many who do so find real peace. But again, this is because they can then commune with the Spirit so as to guide their lives towards happiness. When one connects with heaven, all other solutions at once take on meaning. Things that didn’t work before begin to work. It’s as if the breath of life is given to our efforts to give them new effectiveness & ability to serve us.
Knowing God
So then, what is it that will fill us, satisfy us and lead us to happiness? In essence, it is knowing God, the Source of Truth ((http://scriptures.lds.org/en/john/17/3#3)). To know Him we must seek Him diligently ((http://scriptures.lds.org/en/dc/88/63#63, )), sincerely ((http://scriptures.lds.org/en/jer/29/13#13)) and early in our priorities ((http://scriptures.lds.org/en/deut/4/29#29)). Why is this? Because again, He gave us our agency to choose and respects it so much that He only takes captain of our ship if we desire it ((http://scriptures.lds.org/en/alma/29/4#4, https://www.ryanmendenhall.com/blog/2010/09/08/desire-determines-destiny.htm)) and ask Him to do so ((http://scriptures.lds.org/en/james/4/3#3, http://scriptures.lds.org/en/1_jn/3/22#22)). In addition, to “know” someone in the biblical context was a pretty intimate experience. To know Him fully we must walk in his ways ((http://scriptures.lds.org/en/john/7/17#17)). Summary: In short, to know God we must desire, seek, ask & act.
When in touch this way with the Great Source of Truth, when we are on the path of getting to know Truth we find confidence and peace of mind in life even amid the storms ((Richard G. Scott, “Peace of Conscience and Peace of Mind”, Ensign, Nov. 2004, 15–18, http://new.lds.org/ensign/2004/11/peace-of-conscience-and-peace-of-mind?lang=eng)). This is not because our problems have mystically dissolved or because there are no other voices still clamoring for our attention, but because we now know in whom to trust ((http://scriptures.lds.org/en/2_ne/4/19#19)) and we have become stronger through faithfully acting on the insights and promptings we have received. We trust because we’ve learned to discern or decipher the One Voice from all others and we have an assurance, built of experience, that it will not lead us astray. We know that this Voice is different from the Sirens. While the Sirens may promise the same peace, we know they cannot deliver it. And while there have been times we didn’t understand the whys in the instruction of the Spirit, we were always given peace in knowing that we were being led in right way. We knew this because we felt deeply and meaningfully happy. THIS is the true peace in life, not “arriving,” but in knowing that on our journey we are led by guide that wants our happiness and will not fail to lead us down the path that will facilitate that happiness ((http://scriptures.lds.org/en/1_ne/17/13#13)).
Rethinking Prayer
But, “it’s been so long. I don’t feel like I know how anymore,” you say? Perhaps you feel distant or like it’s too late for you, like you’re too far gone? Maybe you feel like you can no longer relate to the person you once were when you were taught to pray and doing it regularly?
No worries! If you sincerely are seeking happiness you have a God that wants nothing more than to welcome you home ((Parable of the Prodigal Son: http://scriptures.lds.org/en/luke/15/11-32#11)). If you are lost he will find you ((The Story of Amazing Grace: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfoCSmw-EaE)).He sis a God of love…in fact, your Father. He will run to you when he sees you coming. He will take you as you are, wherever you are, no matter who you are. And when the God that gives you life meets again with you, he will help lift you to greater happiness. You are NEVER too far gone ((http://scriptures.lds.org/en/isa/1/18#18)). He only wants your complete happiness, but not at the expense of forcing you to come to him.
Here are some ideas to help you rethink prayer and reestablish that connection with the Source of Peace.
Prayer’s easy, you can do it anywhere: in your head, out loud, on paper, in a box or with a fox, it really doesn’t matter. You’ll typically start off by acknowledging The Source of all Truth from whom you seek answers. It’s kinda like looking at a friend when you’re having a conversation with them, it just establishes who you’re talking with. Then just start up a conversation! Share your feelings. Open up about your frustrations. Confide in him your doubts. If you’re angry, express why. Do you feel lost? Tell Him. How about lonely? He’s listening.You can tell him ANYTHING and should.
It seems like such a common experience to forget who we are. The unhappiness that stems from that, while not always immediately apparent, always seems to settle down upon us in some form of “I feel like I’m just missing something” kind of experience. Prayer is all about remembering who we are and who God is.
Realizing that He knows all, sees all, has all power, is completely just, merciful and loves us more than anyone ever can can give us confidence to pray to our Father in Heaven. Prayer is the process of submitting our desires to Him so they can take them and purify them, change them ((“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of — throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.” (Mere Christianity, 1952) )). Through seeking regularly this “change of heart” we slowly begin to desire only those things that lead to happiness ((http://scriptures.lds.org/en/mosiah/5/2#2, http://scriptures.lds.org/en/alma/13/12#12)). Why is this? Because the desires we feed are the ones that grow. So even if your desire to be happy is small at present, start by asking what you can do now that that will TRULY make you happy. Then thank Him and act upon the impression you receive ((http://scriptures.lds.org/en/alma/32/27-28#27)). You most likely will not receive something grand or huge. The Lord of Truth works by small and simple ways to bring about great things in our lives ((http://scriptures.lds.org/en/alma/37/6#6)). And this is also how he teaches us, one lesson of trust at a time ((http://scriptures.lds.org/en/2_ne/28/30-31#30)). So, even if it’s to call up a friend and see how they are doing, feel grateful that you just had an experience with getting to know the Spirit. 🙂 It’s by doing this over and over again that we walk by faith, having the Spirit light our path just enough to know what to do right now. This is known as the talent of spirituality and is a learnable skill just like any other. Thus, it grows with practice.
An vital principle that many stumble on that of obedience. It is only through obedience that can we be happy. You see, obedience is not a trap door. It’s not a chain or a cage. Take for example obedience to the laws of gravity and of flight. This allows us to soar high and travel much faster and farther in a shorter period of time. Similarly, a kite, while tethered to a string is able to reach much higher than if it were allow to “be free”. All soaring in personal happiness comes through obedience to the laws that rule the skies of joy ((http://scriptures.lds.org/en/dc/130/20-21#21)).
To Wrap it Up…
Because of the darkness that surrounds us all to one degree or another, we can quite easily fall into confusion about life, fear of the unknown and ultimately wandering around looking unsuccessfully for resolutions to our challenges in life. But while none escape the mists of darkness ((http://new.lds.org/general-conference/2009/10/safety-for-the-soul?lang=eng)), none are left without a guiding light that’s never further away than a sincere prayer. Our Father in Heaven is the very Source of the guidance we need to keep from being deceived by the floods of voices that rush in and call us in every direction as we struggle to find meaning, answers and peace. If you desire these the peace that no voice can deliver but one, humble yourself to seek God’s Spirit. Follow the lessons you learn, for they are intimate proofs that God loves you. In this place you will find comfort, confidence, motivation (even if you lack it now) and so many more good gifts he seeks to share with you.
It is my firm belief that God loves you and me more than we can even imagine. I also have sought many times the Spirit of which I’ve spoken. When I am sincere God does not hold back the heavens from revealing his love and leadership. It is this relationship that gives meaning to everything I do and when I wander, I feel the gentle tug to return, like a child standing at my side, softly imploring me with innocent, but wise eyes. I know my Savior lives. He is God’s son and came to make everything I wrote of here possible. I share my gratitude to him for his love for me and for comforting me in my darkest moments. My invitation: Reach out to him. He will calm your raging seas. He is the Source of all Truth, Light and Love.
“Simplify,” comes the voice. “Is it that simple?” I ask. Indeed it is.
I am learning that “Stuff” doesn’t make one happy. Happiness comes from within, from connecting to God. Once that connection is made, all the hording, materialism, jealousy, hatred, bitterness, etc just have a tendency to slip away. It really makes me wonder when Jesus asked a rich young man to go sell all that he had and follow him, WHY this man who apparently had been living the commandments was kept from heaven on earth and possibly in the hereafter because of the “stuff”, the earthly security that he clung to.
Do I cling to stuff that is keeping me from God? Recently a group of friends challenged each other to a 40 Day Challenge which began with a fast. During the fast we were to seek God and discuss with him the things that are holding us back from walking by faith, seeking with new eyes, and being led by the Spirit. It was during this quiet contemplation, as it usually is, that I saw things that “poked” at my spirit, distracting me from a focus on God and how things “really are.” Since then, things have piled up to gently testify to me that there is a God and that he is perfectly mindful of me. He has a work that no one can stop and if we tap into his will for us we not only find internal peace and greater happiness, but we find purpose, meaning and clarity beyond belief.
So, there it is…a summary of the latest “stuff” going on with me. I’ve even considered pulling a Henry David Thoreau. Who knows were the next little bit will take me, but I’m confident more than ever, wherever it is I know the Lord prepares a way for his commands to be fulfilled (1 Ne 3:7) and that I’ll most likely be moving ahead, guided by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I will be doing (1 Ne 4:6).
Here’s trusting in God rather than voices that drown out the still small voice.
Dedicated to everyone who strives for knowledge about self.
It has settled upon me
One reason perhaps why
I’ve been given this gift,
This thorn in the side
My desire for focus
Has stemmed from my lack
And drawn me t’wards Father His ability in tact
I learn of His greatness
His glory & light
That will encompass my spirit
When I pass through the night
That heavenly focus
Is a super human power
Comprehending the oceans
Each sand of each hour
Not one at a time
As now I must grow
But hundreds upon thousands
Of truths will I know
And if this is all — the reason my mind
Tries to lay hold of 50 things at a time,
That it’s a heavenly yearning
And my body lags behind —
Then I’ll praise my God
For this gift from above
That’s helping me see heaven
And his precious, divine love
~ Ryan “Super Focus Boy” Mendenhall
I felt the distint impression this morning as I was studying about the Spirit World, after death, that my tendency to want to try to comprehend everything now is an inseperable part of my spirit that’s trying to work within the confines of the limiting factor of my physical body.
“We shall learn many more things there; we need not suppose our five senses connect us with all the things of heaven, and earth, and eternity, and space; we need not think that we are conversant with all the elements of nature, through the medium of the senses God has given us here. Suppose He should give us a sixth sense, a seventh, an eighth, a ninth, or a fiftieth. All these different senses would convey to us new ideas, as much so as the senses ol tasting, smelling, or seeing communicate different ideas from that of hearing….
How long a time would it take a man in the next world, if he had to gain knowledge as we do here, to find out the simplest things in nature ? He might reason, and reason for thousands of years, and then hardly have got started. But when this Spirit of God, this great telescope that is used in the celestial heavens, is given to man, and he, through the aid of it, gazes upon eternal things, what does he behold ? Not one object at a time, but a vast multitude of objects rush before his vision, and are present before his mind, filling him in a moment with the knowledge of worlds more numerous than the sands of the sea shore. Will he be able to bear it ? Yes, his mind is strengthened in proportion to the amount of information imparted. It is this tabernacle, in its present condition, that prevents us from a more enlarged understanding…
I believe we shall be freed, in the next world, in a great measure, from these narrow, contracted methods of thinking. Instead of thinking in one channel, and following up one certain course of reasoning to find a certain truth, knowledge will rush in from all quarters ; it will come in like the light which flows from the sun, penetrating every part, informing the spirit, and giving understanding concerning ten thousand things at the same time; and the mind will be capable of receiving and retaining all.”
Introductory Note: If you’re reading this, it was either because I care deeply about you and I felt impressed to share it with you or if I may be so bold, you were led to read it and if you pay attention to how you feel as you do, there’s something that God has to say to you.
This experience wasn’t about me all of a sudden gaining a testimony. It WAS about God all of a sudden opening my eyes to the way he has always been a part of every single aspect of my life. It required some effort from me and for that I will forever be grateful.
Now, before you begin, because this experience is so dear to me, I have a small request. If you don’t have at least 30 minutes of quiet uninterrupted time to read and think about this experience I was given as a pure gift from God, please print it off or come back later when that’s the case. My reason for this request? Well, let’s just say it’ll make all the difference.
The thought came to me like lightning, only the kind that doesn’t fry your brain. It was clean and quick and as far as I could remember it was the first time that it came to me. The thought brought with it a certain degree of uneasiness. To be real, intense fear more adequately describes the experience. I was not far from the day I would leave my home and serve a mission for my church in South Korea and I had no idea if what I was to teach was true!
Upon further reflection I decided to ask my mother about this thing called the Holy Ghost. I had heard about it all my life and at that point I couldn’t recall ever feeling or understanding it. I was confused and anxious to say the least.
Directing me to the promise that was given by the last writer in the Book of Mormon I read these words, “And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere hear, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.”
I’m sure that I’d heard it before, but never had I needed to take up this guy on his promise. I had a good life, good friends and never felt a need. The need to know was approaching very quickly.
I now had a choice. I could stretch myself and seek to know of I could listen to my fears which said “what if it’s not true?”
I soon thereafter took to a serious daily study of the Book of Mormon. I would study each night and pray as I did so. My prayers often felt like they hit the ceiling and fell right back down. But as time progressed I began to feel a calm and peace that I was on the right track.
In my prayers proceeding study as well as after study I asked almost every night if the words I was studying were true. No voice came at first …no voice came by the time I was half-way through, though by that time I had found a great companion in the words of the Book of Mormon. I occasionally found myself staying up a couple of hours pouring over the stories and feeling like I could really relate the characters therein. While I still didn’t feel like I had my answer to the truthfulness of the book I was finding great analogies for my life, ways to protect myself against sin and great role models of belief, strength & happiness.
The lives of all my new friends weren’t always easy, again I could relate. My friend Captain Moroni was continually at war with his brothers. He spent much of his time strengthening the cities of his people so they could survive attacks that he knew were coming. They did. The cities prevailed because of his planning and preparation.
My other new friend Alma was a spiritual advisor for a wicked king. As he listened to a prisoner testify of God’s commandments, of Christ’s healing and of the disobedience of the people something in his heart clung onto the words. The prisoner was killed and he would have been too had he not ran from the kings guards. He found safety in hiding where he wrote the words of the prisoner, sought a change of heart and his ways. He found it and from then on sought to teach the truth to others.
I also grew to befriend 2,000 young men who were taught by their mothers that if they believed in and followed God’s law, they would have nothing to fear. There came a time when the families of these boys were in danger. Neighboring people sought to kill them because of their beliefs. The fathers of those boys had previously made a pact with God that they would no longer take up their swords to kill their fellow man. It was then that those 2,000 boys stood to protect their families. During battle many in the joint armies were killed, but when done, all 2,000 were accounted for and they rejoiced in the love and faith their mothers had given them.
As I was gaining these new friendships something else was happening though I wouldn’t realize it until later. My Father in Heaven in his great love and mercy was slowly peeling away layers of disbelief and doubt from my heart and mind.
Before I say just how this scripture journey ended I want to convey several experiences that happened during the course of my trip.
As I grew up I had been a bit controlling of my belongings and was somewhat of a perfectionist to boot. Those traits often came into conflict with my two younger sisters. I mean, a kid can only take so many broken and dulled crayons, not to mention they usually used my stuff without my permission. I think the worst part of it was that they colored outside the lines!!!
Anyway, long story short, I felt like they were out to get me somehow…because they often were. Such were our interactions that when I used to walk into a room their hair would stand up like when cats see a dog.
One day as I was reading one of my sisters did something that normally would have annoyed me to no end. I recall being very calm and letting it roll right off my back, very unusual. It didn’t sink in then just what had happened, but it later would fall into context.
Another time I had planned on staying in town for the night. Because we lived up the canyon and it was a good 20 minute drive home and I at this point in time I found it easier to just stay at a friend’s house than to drive home. For some reason I remember wandering around town, not really making any headway towards my friend’s place. As I stood in the Ream’s grocery store at the mouth of the canyon I decided to just go home instead.
When I god home I began my nightly ritual of studying my Book of Mormon. This happened to be one of those nights when I couldn’t put down the book. Tiredness had escaped me and 1 0’clock passed without my notice. By the time 2 o’clock rolled around I was still going strong. It was somewhere between then and 4 am (I think closer to 4) that I heard a faint rattling against the wall that neighbored my little sister’s room. I got up to see what it was and found Mindy in a diabetic shock. I was truly scared and called immediately for my mom. When she and my step-father came up they did gave her a tube of glucose and soon Mindy stopped and came to. Everything turned out okay.
I have wondered occasionally what would have happened had I not felt impressed to go home that night and got caught up in my study of the Book of Mormon.
Last, and by no means the only other experience of the sort, I sat in my room reading one sunny winter day when I heard tires squealing outside my window. I got up to see and there was a man trying to get his car dislodged from the snow. Without a second thought I hurried & put my snow pants and boots on and ran out to help him.
Where three experiences initially came and went without any real fanfare and I was still answer-less as to the question I had been asking daily: “Is the Book of Mormon true?”
When I finally finished reading I recall sitting back in my chair with the last pages laying open on my drawing table before me. “Is it true?” was the question that lingered in my mind, floating there like a feather on a soft breeze. I reviewed Moroni’s promise that my mother had shown me. Another part stood out to me this time. In the verse before it told me to read and pray I it says, “behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye should receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.”
So, I began to ponder. Into my mind came scenes of the Lord helping the children of Israel in to their promised land, feeding them while they were in their wilderness. I remembered the Lord sending Adan heavenly messengers to teach him truth. I thought about the protection he gave to the strippling warriors & the their fathers, the Anti-Nephi-Lehis who buried their weapons as a sign to God that they wanted to follow him and how he consequently protected them from losing their faith.
My mind then went on a very interesting journey and I saw how the Lord had been preparing me for this moment. After thinking of the scriptural examples of God’s love and mercy I began quite naturally to think about experiences in my own life. I recalled those three experiences I related before and started to see things in a new light. Before beginning my journey began I was positive that I hadn’t ever had any spiritual experiences, that I hadn’t ever felt the Spirit.
Well, the vision I had then wasn’t one of God and Jesus Christ appearing to me, but it was just as life changing. The love of God had always been there, I just couldn’t see it, mainly because I wasn’t looking. My eyes had been opened to the ways in which I was changing as a result of studying and praying about the Book of Mormon:
My heart had begun to soften towards my sisters. I directly credit my journey to find out if the Book of Mormon was true to the love I now feel for them. I also began to be more open to helping others when they struggled. I was a different man. In fact, that may have been when I actually grew up, for it was then that learned, through the power of God, that my life was not my own, but that I was here to love and serve others.
I now had my answer to the question that once frightened me only months earlier. I found my Savior in the pages of the Book of Mormon and before I knew it, he had entered my heart as well. He increased my desire to serve. Somewhere along the way he helped me to shed my angry heart and other desires to sin. He increased my love for my family and forgiveness came quickly.
If God is love and if he inspires all good then I found him as I opened my heart to the possibility that the Book of Mormon could be true and as I tested that possibility through study, prayer and self reflection. Christ had changed me through this book for the better.
I now know that the Book of Mormon is true. And through that spiritual gift of understanding I also know that Joseph Smith translated it, that Jesus is God’s son and that all good we experience comes because he died for us & overcame our chains of sin and death.
Through this journey with the Book of Mormon I also am confident in God’s love for us all. I know he didn’t send us to earth without a light to guide us. He sent prophets and they speak for him. There have been many times where I was able to face a situation because I had recently studied the words of the prophets of our day.
God lives! He speaks in our day. He sent his son so we could live again and so that we could change into better people. One day we will stand before God and account for how we used our time here. He will be loving & merciful & judge us like no other can, perfectly, for he knows all – our hearts, our motives, our understanding, our fears, our passions & struggles.
He has power to work any situation for our good and to make all things right that we have felt unjustly dealt. He is a God of truth and we can trust what he tells us. And that is true whether it comes through a prophet, a parent or a friend. The Spirit speaks words and feelings of peace to our mind and hearts. We can know when we feel this that we are feeling the Spirit and what is being said is from God. Many disregard their own impressions, but this is a loving Heavenly Father reaching out to speak to his children.
This is how the Lord showed to me the Book of Mormon’s truth; by opening my eyes and letting me see the changes that had come about in my heart and in my life. He did this just the same way he shows anyone sincerely seeking to know.
Only by adhering to true principles can anyone really experience true joy. It’s no different than adhering to the laws govern the growth of plants to receive food, or obeying the laws of aerodynamics to get a plane to fly. Obey the laws, get the reward. Disobey and the reward will forever escape you.
There are many voices out there amongst those we know who cast a shadow of doubt on the existence of God or on his true character. Because they have not sought to know him, they reason incorrectly that he is not there. In many ways, whether in words or actions, they encourage us to doubt too. However, the ideas they share with us do us a great disservice, for they separate us from an infinitely loving Father in Heaven who desperately is waiting for us to seek him out so that he can share with his children the steps to be happy here on earth AND for eternity (for indeed there is life after our body lays to rest).
I love my Savior. He has saved me once (from selfishness) and I know he will do so many more times before I die if I will allow him to by seeking him out and following the quiet impressions that come to my mind and heart.
Walking as a disciple of Christ has required a lot of sacrifices from me and though it’s hard I have found much more reward in changing my behaviors to match his word than can ever be found in changing my beliefs to match my natural inclinations.
I know God lives. I know he sent his son. I know he sent us prophets to teach us the way of true joy. I know He’s given us his power to use in performing his work, the priesthood. I know the Book of Mormon is the true word of God for our benefit. I know that Joseph translated the Book by the instruction and power of God. This he did so that we, God’s children, could know of his great love for us, so that we could see that he keeps his promises and so that we could come unto Christ and feel of the pure joy that comes from being led by the soft impressions of the Spirit.
I love my God, my family, and my friends. God is good and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is led by him, through living prophets.
Now, to my friends and family and anyone else that comes across these words. I thank you dearly for reading the words of my testimony which mean more to me than my life. If these words “made sense,” “rang true,” or you just “felt something,” please take a moment to thank the Lord. I want let you know as clearly as I can that God is no respecter of persons. I am nothing special. He didn’t give me these experiences because I am in some way better than anyone else. He cares infinitely about each one of his children, even those that have strayed. Heaven knows I have! He will lead anyone to gain a firm conviction of truth. The catch: you got to want it, you have to ask for it and you got to pay the price. He speaks to everyone in ways they can understand and in his own time.
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Finally, if you These are the men that I listen to. It’s their words along with those in the scriptures that I think about, pray to understand and strive to follow. I know their words are the words of Christ and that they lead to peace, hope and deliverance.
, especially these words from Orson Pratt speaking of what learning is like in the spirit world once we die,