All posts by Ryan

My People, Words

Mothers, It’s Who You Are

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My thoughts have been tender on this topic recently. I am by no means perfect in my love for my fellow man, but I honor the God that fills my heart with peace and understanding towards his beautiful daughters. Last night I stumbled upon an old friend’s video that shares most powerfully the way I feel about the mothers and women in my life. It’s a mother’s day message, but I needed to say it right now. It’s a timeless message that I hope you will come back to any time you feel the burden of your station weighing you down, for I know that God will speak to you through these words of truth. He will love and lift you! I love each one of you and if I haven’t told you lately, please remind me and I’ll make sure to redouble my efforts! 🙂

I’m on a haiku kick, so here’s one about moms! I put it at the end because I’m hoping you’ll watch the video and be crying by the time you read it, so either you won’t be able to see it, or I’ll have a head start on it being good, ya know, kinda like how every mom thinks they’re kid’s the cutest and how no matter what it sounds like, the first piano recital always sounds sweet, I’m hoping the heart will be in that “everything is so sweet” stage. Either way, enjoy:

Lofty motherhood,
God’s precious gift to the world,
Uplifts fallen man

Family, Friends, Relationships, Self Discovery

The True Beauty and Power of Women

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“Sisters, we, your brethren, cannot do what you were divinely designated to do from before the foundation of the world. We may try, but we cannot ever hope to replicate your unique gifts. There is nothing in this world as personal, as nurturing, or as life changing as the influence of a righteous woman.” (M. Russell Ballard, “Mothers and Daughters,” Liahona, May 2010, 18–21)

To my mind this morning was brought, like settling dews on the morning grass, the extreme and simple beauty that women have brought into my life over the years. I have been more richly blessed by “the most precious element of a woman’s divine nature—the nature to nurture” (Ballard) than I think I can even realize.

I have been honored to date over time a handful of girls who have exemplified the love of the savior in their hearts and actions. They have opened an otherwise closed boy and have helped to bring about change in his heart, helping him correct his course and remain faithful.

Friends (girls) of whom I can only describe our meetings and relationships as divinely appointed, have nurtured me, instinctively, in my times of need, giving me courage and belief to get back up, dust off and to try again with love for myself. It’s these moments that have filled my soul with possibility and vision of who I really am. It’s these small interactions that have made me greater than I could have ever been without it.

Guidance from many Spirit-led women has richly blessed my life. From speakers, to church leaders, to my grandmothers & most importantly my own mother, I have been lifted time and time again on the wings of angels who had no other desire than to help me believe that the seemingly impossible I face is but only a small step in a much grander masterpiece that God making in me.

Even the men who have blessed my life with similar love, encouragement & teaching have done so with a confidence born of familiarity with such “motherly” love, instilled so often by their own mothers, wives, girlfriends & women acquaintances.

It’s been a slow process by which I’m realizing over again the true beauty and power of women. It’s a journey that I am glad to be on, for I have seen over the years the faith of some of my sweetest and most dear friends’ shattered largely due to the poor examples of priesthood holders to which they were married. It’s a man’s responsibility to rule over his wife. But as Elder Hafen taught, “Genesis 3:16 states that Adam is to “rule over” Eve, but this doesn’t make Adam a dictator. A ruler can be a measuring tool that sets standards. Then Adam would live so that others may measure the rightness of their conduct by watching his. Being a ruler is not so much a privilege of power as an obligation to practice what a man preaches. Also, over in “rule over” uses the Hebrew bet, which means ruling with, not ruling over. If a man does exercise “dominion … in any degree of unrighteousness” (D&C 121:37; emphasis added), God terminates that man’s authority.” (Bruce C. Hafen and Marie K. Hafen, “Crossing Thresholds and Becoming Equal Partners,” Liahona, Aug 2007, 26–31)

The goal for the man is to rule in the true meaning of the word, modeling himself after Christ. Christ rules the church with love & diligence in providing for and in protecting & preserving it’s sanctity. A husband is to do the same for his wife. I love the picture painted in the story where Christ is compared to a mother hen who protects her young, covering them when danger is near, even to the point of losing her own life. THIS is the relationship a priesthood holder has with his wife when he understands his sacred duty and her divine nature.

In short, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” (Eph 5:25)

Living in mediocrity has been like living in a darkness. It’s here where I’ve seen myself as worthless, which has done more damage than I could have ever realized. For the way we see & love ourselves, at least in my experience, cannot be contained and kept from tainting how we see & love others. The good women in my life who have lifted me and built me and succored me like the Savior would if he were here deserve a Ryan that sees both them as everything they truly are, beautiful, powerful, creative, loving, divine, holy beings. And to do this I must take my visions from the fountains of eternal life, and not from the gutters of disbelief that line the roads of this mortal coil.

Thank you dear women. I cannot say enough about the good that you are and that you bring into my life. May the Lord bless you to see yourself as he sees you, for THIS is the solution to so many of your problems from low self-esteem, to depressive flurries and fear to bitterness & hate towards my gender. I know that men are rats, but the answer is not to feed them with the scraps of distrust which only perpetuate that lowly state, but to reach into the divinity that’s within each one of you and to lift him and to love him as you have me.

I love you. I need you.

Ryan

Faith & Religion, Family, Friends, Reflections, Relationships, Words

Richard Dawkins, The Faithless and Then Me

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So, over the course of my years hear on earth I’ve experienced good friends and family members falling from the faith of their fathers. I used to hear others share stories of this and felt pretty protected from it. I had powerhouse friends, we were solid. We would occasionally do stupid things, but we weren’t going anywhere. This was how it was and this is how it would always be. I was wrong.

Between the moving I did as a kid, a missionary and a college student I would often part with good people whom I had grown to love deeply. Some I have met again and rejoiced as Alma did when he again met with the Sons of Mosiah after some time apart, “and what added more to his joy, they were still his brethren in the Lord; yea, and they had waxed strong in the knowledge of the truth; for they were men of a sound understanding and they had searched the scriptures diligently, that they might known the world of God” (Alma 17:2). Others I have spoken with in sorrow that their faith had waned when the heat of the sun beat down upon them. While not my decision in the end, I have often wondered, what could I have done more to support them through their trials?

Friend after friend has also shared with me similar stories and it’s very interesting to observe in myself what I’ve see happen in others. It’s that thing that starts to happen when we slowly let slip the values and truths that we hold dear. I once was bold and confident to say that going to church has never really been a problem for me. Then I find myself skipping here and there. I wonder if those that left did the same thing early on, when asked where I was, I made up a plausible excuse for my nonattendance.

What is it that makes us shut down with our peers and our people? Why do we retreat when we need to open up? Perhaps it was my overconfidence supported by statements of loved ones praising my faithfulness that allowed me to think I was above the possibility of personal apostasy. Was it this pride that shielded me from the dangers lurking just below the surface of the calm water. All is NOT well in Zion.

I’m not saying that I’ve left the church, because I haven’t. I am saying however, that I recognize just how easily it can happen.

Masterful and sarcastic atheist Richard Dawkins has put much of his life’s attention into repeatedly attempting to convince his fellow apes that there is no such thing as God. I typically come across his stuff in discussions with a good friend or on the web/video when I’m strong in my faith, but he’s the last person I’d like to meet in a dark ally when I’m wallowing in self-pity about my worth as a human being. He and the faithless like him seem to have little compassion for the struggles those of the faithful, likening religion to an common activity like needle point  or some other quaint hobby. Perhaps his parents were killed by believers who put him in a “Brave New World” like reeducation chamber where he was pumped full of medication and repeatedly told that the earth was flat. That would probably get under my skin as well.

But enough with my character assassination. Mr. Dawkins, I apologize, I don’t like to do that.You just represent to me a much bigger idea that’s tormented man from the beginning. I have absolutely no problems with questions, it’s in our nature to seek to know them, but when cynicism and doubt lead to closing off answers rather then letting them in, I see folly. I think on this point we can agree. It may just be in different contexts. By the way, I love science, my mind is always examining the world around me seeking to understand. So again, no hard feelings? Good, let’s do lunch. My treat.

Others who follow Dawkin’s faithless line of thinking have even compared belief in God to a praying to a luck horseshoe. Aside from the obvious differences here, I can’t help but see these arguments as mirroring the advent of Korihor in the Book of Mormon who said amongst other troubling teachings that the believers were “bound down under a foolish and a vain hope” (Alma 30:13). He calls God nothing more than a fairy tale akin to unicorns or hobgoblins. Will be interesting to see who the emperor is who is not wearing any clothes. (Check out: Countering Korihor’s Philosophy)

To start my babblings a winding down: There are times when our roots run deep and the wind comes, the storm rages on and we stand firm in the faith. There are other times when all it takes is negative thoughtless comment from a fellow saint to shake our very core. Well, let those who bend in the wind to the pressures of daily living, I offer you my faith in a God that lives and loves his children. And when things seem hard to understand, just hold on, call me if you need, the light will come for those who seek.

Firm are the decrees
of God from above

Seeing all, he knows
the necessity of love

But in his wisdom
he allows us to grow

And growth requires patience,
the ability to go slow

So down here in our passions
we worry and fret

Convinced that if God loved us
he’s step in and set

Right all the injustices
we see man do to man

Failing to recognize
God’s perfect plan

And no, it’s not to torture,
to abandon or abuse

But rather to give agency,
our choice to properly use

It’s in this way alone
that our growth can be whole

We take what’s allotted
and devote to it our soul

For you see, in the end
he who finishes ahead

Is he who finds freedom
through God as his head

“My will” delivers one thing –
chains that rightly bind

And “thy will” quite another –
Faith, the power to heal mankind

God bless my hurting friends and family.

May you recognize in your lonely times that God is speaking to us always.

And how true it is that when we draw near unto him that he draws near unto us.

We’re not all so different. I love you all!

~ Ryan

Faith & Religion, Self Creation, Words

Desire Determines Destiny

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I originally titled this post “Desires of Babylon” but realized that the post only mentioned them in passing. I think that title would make a cool song. I’ma gonna think on that! In the meantime. I was discussing the topic of desires the other day with my friend Holly. We were pondering & discussing how important they are in the course of our lives. It soon became clear to me that our desires are everything! Let’s examine this idea.

To begin with the Lord states that he looks upon the heart of man, not on the outer appearance as man does. (1 Sam 16:7) Why is this? And why does he require of us a broken heart and contrite spirit? Why does the Lord ask us to give him a willing heart? What’s so important about the heart that he’s going to use it as part of our judgment?

An important component in understanding the doctrine of “heart state” is understanding that our God is not a God of force nor compulsion. He created us and allows us to choose what we well. He of course wishes us to return to him, but knows that in his grand palace of order and cleanliness, we must choose willingly to live by his law and accept Christ as our Savior that we may be clean. For “that which is governed by law is also preserved by law and perfected and sanctified by the same.” (D&C 88:34.) The grand test here on Earth is to see what we will do with that will (agency) of ours.

Commonly people state that they are glad they left their church because they are now “free” to do what they want. That is indeed true, and was before they left. What their statement boils down to is, “I’m free to not be reminded that my choices have consequences.” This is a dangerous place to be, especially for one who truly wants to be free. Though God’s path is straight and narrow, the reward is true freedom, greater ability to act, while the opposite direction eventually leads to constricted actions, understanding & abilities.

You can tell the state of a man’s heart by examining his desires. Our heart and the state thereof are inseparably connected to our desires.

A desire is a strong want. What we want will manifest in action & affect the state of our hearts as seen when Nephi had “great desires to know of the mysteries of God, wherefore, I did cry unto the Lord; and behold he did visit me, and did soften my heart that I did believe all the words which had been spoken by my father; wherefore, I did not rebel against him like unto my brothers.” (1 Ne 2:16)

I began at this point to ask myself questions like, What do I worship? Who do I serve? What do I love? Who has my heart? What is my treasure? A question came back almost in response to those ponderings and it was simply this, “How do you spend your time?” In this simple question it became clear to me that I could see where my desires were taking me by noting how I spent my time. What we love, worship and serve can all be observed when we take an inventory of our time.

What I choose on a daily basis shapes and molds by desires over time. My desires ultimately lead will lead me to yield to God’s almighty will or to one of the four desires of Babylon: gain, power, popularity & lust (1 Ne 22:23) Our desires therefore determine our direction & destination.

An interesting thing about desires is that they move us to act in ways that will reinforce that desire, increasing it over time. Thus, if we give our will to God we shouldn’t be surprised when we become a new person in Christ with a softened character and with new eyes with which to see the world – the “wages” of serving God. I experienced this transformation noticeably before my mission and am continually seeking it. Conversely, when we give our will, our time, our energy and effort to the adversary – stealing, lying, lustful thoughts and actions, etc. – we slowly become chained to his will, receiving wages or “rewards” from serving Satan. Addictions, hard hearts towards our fellow man and a life filled with fear are but three forms of currency with which the devil pays his servants.

I remember reading many times about when Alma “ohed” that he were an angel and could have the wish of his heart. He then quickly added, “I ought not to harrow up in my desires, the firm decree of a just God, for I know that he granteth unto men according to their desire, whether it be unto death or unto life; yea, I know that he allotteth unto men, yea, decreeth unto them decrees which are unalterable, according to their wills, whether they be unto salvation or unto destruction.” (Alma 29:4)

Supported by a plethora of self-help books that suggest “if you can conceive it & believe it then you can achieve it,” I used to think that Alma was suggesting the Lord gives us whatever we want. However, when we read this verse the other day I came to see something different. God has eternal laws and leaves us to choose to follow them and live eternally with Him or to disobey his laws and die spiritually. We attract what we are and it takes some conscious decisions to change in one way or the other. In short, the principle is: “intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom receiveth wisdom; trust embraceth truth.” (D&C 88:40)

So then, with all that in mind the question may be redundant, but “how important is it to understand what we desire?”

Well, since we receive wages (consequences) of him who we serve (give time to), it seems like it’d be important to know the terms of the contract we’re signing with our employer, the one who gives us our marching orders. However, no mater who we choose to serve via the course of our desires & eventually our actions, our wage ultimately is that we develop a love for that which we serve, it becomes our treasure, the thing we value most, the object of our worship, what’s in our heart. And the state of our heart is what God looks upon.

That my desires become those of Zion and not those of Babylon:

May my gain be of the Spirit
My power in the priesthood
With zeal to be more godly
To glorify thy name alone

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/1_ne/2/16#16